“I couldn’t see past the pain,”
she said.
Hopelessness.
Deep, dark, sticky, infinite,
hopelessness.
That’s what pulls me under...
with the few odd breaths
at the surface.
The liberation comes
at the simple
painless
matter-of-fact realization
that I could just...
Quit.
I don’t ever have to see
that “to-do” list.
No more sorting, again,
through boxes from storage.
No more details.
Dear god the endless
barrage
of details.
No more trying to fix
the unfixable.
No more reaching out
for her... for him... for them
only to come back
empty handed
and forced to smile.
I can’t see past the hopelessness.
Instead of closing doors
it’s opened a possibility...
and I can’t seem to think my way
around it.

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