tainted

everything about
who I thought you were
who I let you become
to me
tangled up in an ache
that forbids me to swim
in memories of you
or that which would bring them on

anger feasts there instead
you betrayed me brilliantly
not by your change of heart
but by your reckless disregard
of all things me
in stunning fashion
you lived in worlds of opposite
of contradiction
I was blind to the reality
that what you professed as truth
as real and solid
was in fact deception

pledges of sincerity
and promises of truth
along with the conversations needed
to mend and nurture
represented the true beacon
of deep meaning and self awareness
they were antithesis of your path
no communion met
words remain unspoken

believing your enlightenment
your “this is it” moment
is genuinely the path of your growth
when the cost was taken out
on the back of the one
you credit with freedom
is sheer foolishness

you missed the point
you tainted the gift
illumination, truly, is inevitable
a new lesson
within the old
the path, the gift, the knowledge
are only life sustaining
if in the moment it blesses you
it finds you worthy